


Reclusion

by neutralize



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: HeartGold & SoulSilver | Pokemon HeartGold & SoulSilver Versions
Genre: Adventure, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Kanto-chihou | Kanto, Mountaineering, Pokemon Training, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-04 18:56:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18349706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neutralize/pseuds/neutralize
Summary: There’s been a lull in the number of challengers who get past Erika’s gym, and when more than a week goes by without a single opponent, Janine makes her move one bright but chilly September afternoon.





	Reclusion

**Author's Note:**

> Was digging through my old LJ comm a few weeks back, and found this gathering dust - I liked the bones on it, so I decided to massively rework so that it's actually readable. I miss writing about my original best pokégirl. :<
> 
> Thank you [Aq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/toska) for the beta!

The entire page of her calendar is marred with ugly, red X’s. The longer she stares at them, the more Janine is convinced they’re staring back. In actuality, it’s been longer than a month since her father finally made his way to the Indigo Plateau - six, to be precise, but it feels like years of training leaving her in a single day. Six months, but Janine feels like she’s been on her own much longer.

Transitioning from student to gym leader has been harder than Janine initially anticipated. She’s struggled with adjusting and adapting, unlike so many successful leaders ahead of her. Six months, and Green, a relative newcomer himself, decimates trainers _she_ was supposed to beat, like he’s been in Viridian City all his life. Janine knows she lags behind the rest of Kanto league. Most of the challengers who beat her are polite enough to thank her for the match, but some chortle on their way out of those once looming doors, no doubt wondering when the Indigo League became so easy.

It doesn’t help Koga calls sporadically these days. It’s expected, of course: he has plenty of challengers to occupy him and even if he didn’t, it’s not like he can baby her forever. Logically she realizes this, but there were days his quiet words of reassurance would be the only thing she looked forward to when she woke up hours before the sun rose to sharpen her skills. Now, she’s lucky if he calls once every few weeks. Six months, but the days drift endlessly.

Six months, and Janine needs _something_ to get her where she knows she’s meant to be.

There’s been a lull in the number of challengers who get past Erika’s gym, and when more than a week goes by without a single opponent, Janine makes her move one bright but chilly September afternoon. She spends a day packing her most crucial belongings and sizable rations, closing down the gym without notifying the league association, and making the long trek from Fuchsia City to Mount Silver. Janine is too well-raised not to feel anxiety at the prospect of breaking some unspoken taboo about proper gym leader etiquette, but if it’ll beat the hopelessness that’s driven her this far then it’s worth taking the risk. Mount Silver is daunting and its shadow swallows everything a kilometer within its base in a blanket of quiet, and the oppressing solitude gives Janine a tiny flicker of hope. Crobat stares at her like she’s crazy, nipping at her shoulders to dissuade her, but she starts climbing anyway.

None of her pokémon are suited for cold weather, but they push their way through, fending off the inclement elements and wild pokémon, making their gradual ascent to the top rewarding when it finally happens a few days later. By now Janine is used to the wild golbat that hiss and snarl at her crobat, but the pikachu who zaps them away _definitely_ catches her off-guard. It immediately flares with volts when it sees Janine and her team, but she backs off when it does. “I’m not here for a fight,” she says, keeping her tone level, and when she crouches down it gradually eases its stance into something less fierce, but still wary.

It’s apparent this particular pikachu belongs to someone but whom still remains a mystery. She doesn’t have to wait long to find out when its trainer emerges from the shadows of the cave; the young boy probably isn’t much older than she is, but the look in his eyes resembles that of someone far older than both of them. The feeling that she’s seen him before settles upon her, but it’s vague and she can’t pinpoint the exact memory. The pikachu bounces back to the boy, still tense.

“My apologies if I’m intruding, are you - ?” she begins, but never finishes, when the stranger scoops the pikachu into his arms and disappears into the cave’s darkness without a word. Wetness dripping from the cave walls is the only sound Janine hears in his wake, so she resigns herself to move on, even though the boy and his pikachu intrigue her.

She finds a drier part of the cave and settles there to set up makeshift camp. Her pokémon nestle beside her for warmth, their soft breathing blocking out the perpetual drip of the cave walls and eventually Janine descends into a broken, uneasy sleep.

\--

Janine investigates the cave and mountain further the next day, taking care to steer clear of the boy’s area. He didn’t seem threatening their initial meeting and while she’s tempted to find him to ask questions, the boy is likely here for his own reasons and she isn’t about to pry, especially considering how abrupt his departure was. She doesn’t mind too much at the moment: there are other things Janine wants to find here too.

Her first major find is water; there’s a spring that runs down the east side of Mount Silver, but it’s at least a ten minute walk from where she set up camp. When she rounds her way back, she finds that the cave is part of a group of caves, all intimately intertwined, and the prospect of exploring gets the better of her. She scouts every cold corner, leaving no rock unturned as the dampness seeps into her bones. By the time she makes her way back to her camp, her teeth are chattering in her skull and her feet are numb, so she slips into two more pairs of socks and an extra undershirt. Janine had figured it would be bitingly cold, used to Kanto’s milder weather and being so far north, but not to this extent. She frowns, wondering if the food and clothes she brought will last her much longer.

It dawns upon her that she didn’t explore the summit, so after starting a small fire and making a quick meal of miso soup, Janine bundles herself in an infrequently used parka and steps outside the cave. It’s evening now. Snow-topped trees cover the mountainside and gently slope down to an endless stretch of forest green and white. The sun dips below where the green starts, and the sky is a mesh of soft orange, pink, blue and purple. Fuchsia City will always be her heart, her soul, and the most wonderful, beautiful place she knows, but she’s not too prideful to recognize breathtaking views like these never happen there. The only thing that ruins this moment of utter tranquility is the sound of her heavy breathing. Vigorous training as long as she can remember has left her with more endurance than the average person her age, but the altitude is something she’s still getting used to. She swallows and her ears pop, before she feels a dull twinge of pain.

The boy and his pikachu appear in her peripheral, taking a seat beside her as Janine briefly startles from the sudden arrival. Sourly she thinks she could apparently learn a thing or two on stealthiness from this enigma. Still, the pair remained undaunted by her presence. The pikachu eyes Janine, sprawling itself in its master’s lap, purring as thin hands stroke its dirtied fur. The boy blinks at her, staring mild and wordless, as if to assess her, before he turns his attention away and towards the sun set. Janine doesn’t mind the scrutiny - it was cute in a way.

“It’s so peaceful out here,” she murmurs, half to the boy, half to herself, tucking her gloved hands into the sleeves of her coat.

The boy says nothing, instead adjusting his cap to shield out the sun from his dark eyes.

\--

It isn’t until several days later that he finally speaks to Janine.

“Do you know Koga from Fuchsia City?”

Janine has grown used to his silent presence, so it’s one shock when a demure voice breaks the quiet she was accustomed to, and another being asked such a blunt question right away.

“He’s my father,” she says, when the alarm subsides enough to give him an answer. “Do _you_ know him?”

“Yeah. We fought once. He’s strong.”

Janine’s mind wanders to the thought of her father, and she isn’t sure how she feels.

“He’s a member of the Elite Four now. I’ve become the gym leader in his place,” she says. A flicker of intrigue lights up his eyes, and the shadow of his cap’s brim casts them a deep, mysterious crimson.

Janine watches her breath curl in the cold before it vanishes into a faint wisp. “I’ve been one for six months and I still have no idea what I’m doing,” she admits, voice meak, a shinobi’s disgrace. Her throat is raw and she swallows, eyes stinging when she does. “I’ve been training to do this all my life under the best master anyone could ask for, and I just feel like I’m not living up to the person he thinks I can be.”

A pang of embarrassment hits Janine as she realizes how open she’s being with a complete stranger. At the same time, though, she doesn’t feel threatened by him - his instincts are razor sharp and it’s clear he’s spent a long time here on Mount Silver, but Janine gets the impression that he exists more environment than entity, a deep familiarity borne out of living so intimately and extensively with the deeper forces of nature. If he had wanted to drive her off the mountain, he would have done so by now. He deemed her safe by approaching; now, Janine is obligated to show her appreciation by indulging the subtle but curious, intent expression on his face that prompts her to continue.

“I’ve left the gym temporarily to clear my thoughts and help me regain my focus so that I can better live up as gym leader of Fuchsia City. I figured here would be a decent start to help buffer ice weaknesses. So far, it’s been helping, but… it’s been hard. Way harder than being a gym leader.” It’s not a lie; her team is growing stronger the longer they stay, gaining better resistance to the weather and wildlife each passing day, but there’s more potential they can reach and she knows it.

“You’ve made it this far. You can become stronger.” The boy shifts closer, the first sign of demonstrating anything aside from neutral disinterest Janine has seen from him since they first met what seems like a while ago now. He doesn’t say anything else and neither does she, but nothing else needs to be said: the quiet affirmation, strangely, is enough to hear for now.

That night they brave the cold, staying outside well after the sun disappears behind the horizon.

\--

Janine has no idea how long she’s been at Mount Silver now, but judging from the dwindling sundries and the more critical things like medicines and food, it’s been several weeks, perhaps a month or longer. By now, she and her pokémon tear through the deeper pits of Mount Silver, exhausted the day’s end from bashing rocks and practicing evasions, but they’re victorious more often than they aren’t. The boy is still a rare occurrence, of course, and whenever they do meet for short amounts of time she wonders just how long he’s has been up here, all alone, much less how he’s survived all this time.

She gets her answer soon enough when he unexpectedly invites her to share food with him, and when another visitor shows up in the middle of it.

“Sorry I haven’t been up here in awhile, Red,” Green’s voice echoes throughout the granite, an eevee at his heels. “The league’s been super busy with - ” He automatically falters and freezes upon seeing Janine biting greedily into an oran berry, dropping the sack he'd been carrying moments before.

“ _Janine_ ? What are you _doing_ up here?” he asks, mouth slack, as he bends down to pick up a stray orange that had tumbled out.

Janine knows better not to go on the defensive, so she chooses something she hopes doesn’t sound aloof but more neutral. “It’s been a while, Green. You’re very kind to come up here.”

Green tosses the bag to the boy Red, not taking his narrowed eyes off her for a moment. “Yeah, never mind me and canonization, I hope for your sake, you’ve thought of a _really_ good explanation to tell your dad. Seriously, do you realize you’ve been gone for almost two months?” Janine shakes her head, incredulous, and he sighs.

“He came back to Fuchsia City to take over the gym, _and_ is looking for you, when he’s not busy with that. In fact, nearly everyone in the Kanto league has been searching, because we thought you got abducted or something. And your dad refuses to go back to the Indigo Plateau until you’re back at home, he’s that worried sick over you.”

“You’re not going to tell him I’m here, are you?” she asks after an uneasy pause.

Green predictably doesn’t miss a beat. “That depends. Are you planning on coming down anytime soon, or are you trying to prove some kind of point here? What you’re doing is not only incredibly dangerous, but also hurting people who want to see you succeed.”

This time Janine finds the words faster. “I know. I’m still not ready. I will, but… I can’t. Not yet.”

Green stares at her hard and long before rolling his eyes and fishing through the bag to pull out a package of hot dogs. “Whatever. It’s not really my business anyway. You sound like you have your mind made up, so I won’t say anything, unless Red tells me otherwise. Like I said, though, might want to start thinking about how you’re gonna pitch this to your dad without him tethering you to the gym, whenever you decide to come back from your sabbatical.”

Janine shifts her position and looks at Red, taciturn. For a moment, he returns her look before he shrugs and says, “It’s fine with me,” before ripping into the hot dogs. Had it been any other circumstance, the prospect of her father’s wrath would have scared her witless, but their reassurance puts her somewhat at ease.

Green stays the night and leaves the next day, but Janine doesn’t accompany him back down. “I suppose I should have gone with Green when I had the chance,” she says.

“Like Green said, you have your mind made up. It’s your decision.” He bites into a burnt hot dog before adding gently, “You shouldn’t second guess your convictions so much.”

The fact it’s already the middle of fall is something Janine can’t fully comprehend. Wasn’t it yesterday Janine had felt like there was no promise for her? And Green had made some under-the-breath remark of how haggard she had looked before he left, all thin and pale like that. Wasn’t it just yesterday she had a full set of supplies?

But she isn’t ready to go home.

Not yet.

\--

Janine spends another week on Mount Silver before she leaves, dividing her time between meditation and training. The progress her team has made is undeniable, sweeping through the few creatures who dare disturb them with minimal effort and withstanding the cold weather better than when they first arrived. Janine hopes she’s as strong as they are when she’s reached the end of her journey.

The day she leaves, Red is nowhere to be found. Janine gives into the itch to seek him out, wandering all over every place she’s memorized in Mount Silver, but turns up nothing. She doesn’t think too deeply into it; it hadn’t been much, but she’s grateful for the small, quiet friendship she forged with Red since she first came here and hopes that perhaps he feels the same way.

“I don’t know where you’re at, or if I’ll ever see you again,” she says, loud echoes in the stillness, “but thank you for everything.”

There is no response.

Feeling content for the first time in a long time, Janine makes her way out of Mount Silver 

\--

While getting up Mount Silver proved to be trying, getting _down_ , Janine finds, is near impossible; the snow was falling at a steady rate when she left, but now it’s blinding, rapidly accumulating to knee-deep levels and she trudges through, feeling the lower half of her body numb the more she pushes through. Crobat is too exhausted to be used and even if it wasn’t, the conditions outside are too wretched to even think about using her pokémon. As snow and wind whip her face, Janine contemplates turning around and staying in a nook until the weather blows over, but she wills herself to go on. She can’t give up now, not after coming so far, not after everything she’s accomplished here.

A gale rocks Janine where she stands, threatening to tip her sideways. She feels like she might as well be wearing nothing at all, the parka, gloves and thick pants doing little to fend her from the harsh winds. She trembles violently, nausea descending upon her and draining her strength. The dizzy onset forces herself to stop and she retreats underneath a gigantic, shaking pine, huddling into herself. She squints her eyes, hoping to see something, anything; she’s nearly down to its base, but the weather is so bad, she has to stay, even if -

Something crawls on her leg, and she jolts against the branches, wincing when needles dig into her face. But her heart stops when she sees flickers of yellow sparks from red cheeks and soon after that, her father’s scarved face.

“This,” Koga shouts over the roar of the wind, yanking Janine up with surprising strength, “was stupid of you to do, Janine.” Behind him are Green and Red, the latter wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, Pikachu having returned and now resting on Red’s shoulder.

“You are _very_ fortunate that Red called Green, to tell him you were attempting to scale Mount Silver in such horrendous weather,” he continues, lifting his daughter over the snow drifts and on his back. “Unfortunately for you, he called while Green was in the middle of a meeting with the Kanto leaders and I.” She can’t see his face, but the venom in his tone is all she needs to know how furious and upset he is. The snow provides little barrier to her father - he effortlessly storms though the banks, eventually descending to its base where the weather is calmer. Through lidded eyes she make out the rest of her colleagues, bundled up tightly and talking in concerned tones, but their voices are fuzzy and she finally gives into the exhaustion permeating her, sinking into the crook of her father’s neck and closing her eyes.

When she comes to, Janine feels stiff and sweaty, her arms and legs like deadweight. She’s bundled in several layers of blankets and something wet has been pressed to her head. Janine tries to sit up, but she’s immediately flattened down by her father’s palm.

“Lay down. You are still very sick.” Koga’s voice cuts through the air, harsh and definitely furious, and Janine does not resist. She can’t make out where she’s at, but she knows for certain she’s not in Fuchsia City. Her father glares down at her.

“But that does not mean I am letting you off easily.” He peels the cloth off her forehead, dips it in a basin of water beside him, wrings it out and wipes her face, and it feels good against her burning skin.

“Two months.” He puts the rag back in the water with a small splash. “Two months, you disappeared, without so much as a word to anyone, let alone me.” He gently rubs the cloth in the corner of her eyes. “Left me worried absolutely _sick_ about you, Janine.” Another splash. “To say I am _extremely_ disappointed and angry would not even begin to describe how I feel right now.” Wrings it out, smooths it on her forehead, glowering.

“Well? What did you hope to accomplish going up there so ill-prepared, Janine?”

Janine stays silent, instead burrowing deeper into the soft blankets in hopes of feeling less small under her father’s scrutiny. The upper half of her body shifts, and Koga removes her from his lap, gingerly setting her on the floor. He strides across the room, ripping open a bureau, rifling through it, before slamming it shut.

“That was not a rhetorical question, Janine. I am genuinely curious to know what possessed you to go to Mount Silver for as long as you did, without bothering to mention your whereabouts.”

“… I didn’t know what to do.”

He sits beside her. “What was that?”

Janine stares intently at her father’s face, stomach lurching when she notices just how pronounced the wrinkles on his face and darkness under his eyes are. “I didn’t know what to do,” she repeats, a little louder.

Koga’s expression never budges from its stony state. “Elaborate.”

She swallows; her throat is dry. “… I didn’t know what to do with myself, after you had left for the Indigo Plateau.” Silence greets her words and after a long while, Koga sighs deeply, as if the answer to all her troubles is in plain sight, and she refuses to look for it.

“If that was the case, Janine, why did you not just tell me, instead of going all the way to Mount Silver - ”

“I didn’t want to impose. And you can’t keep coddling me forever.”

“You are right about that, but you have not held your position for more than a year. You are still new, you’re not going to be the best right away. I certainly was not. I do not mind at all if you come to me, when you need help. It is my job not only as your mentor, but as your father. You would not have imposed on me, in the slightest.”

He scoots closer to her and cradles her cheek with his hand, his thumb tracing her temple, a soft gesture that leaves her wordless. “I wish you would have done that, instead of being reckless.”

Janine pushes the covers away to meet her father’s gaze, square and solemn. “I’m so sorry. Thank you. I won’t do something like this again.” Koga has no response to that, instead rising again to go to the bureau once more, sifting through the drawer’s contents with more care this time. He pulls out a small bottle, shakes it, unscrews the cap and uses it to measure out a dose.

“Here,” he says, kneeling down, “drink this. It will make you sleep.” He cups her chin and tilts it into her mouth; it’s bitter, but she manages to force it down without gagging too much, and before her head hits the pillow she settles into sleep.

\--

When she finishes convalescing and returns to her gym, the first thing Janine decides to do is call Green, but is momentarily sidetracked by the number blinking on her answering machine. Picking up the phone and dialing Green’s number, she eyes the triple digits with shock, making a mental note to delete those messages as soon as she’s done speaking.

“Viridian City Gym, this is Green speaking.”

“This is Janine.”

“Oh, so you _are_ back. How’s house arrest going for you?”

Janine scoffs, sarcastic, but she smiles. “This ball and chain isn’t what I'd consider exactly comfortable, but at least Father’s letting me roam Fuchsia City unsupervised now.”

The receiver crackles with Green’s laughter, and Janine breaks into her own fit of giggles soon after. When he composes himself, Green asks, “Better now, I take it?”

“Yes… thank you for what you did.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Red and Pikachu. But since it’s doubtful you’ll see them again, I’ll be sure to pass on the word.”

Their exchange soon delves into league-related affairs and when it ends, Janine wonders about Red and why he’s at Mount Silver, even now. She pauses. As she reaches out a hesitant hand to her answering machine, she lingers on the “delete all” button before deciding no, that’s not what she should do. Instead, she presses the play button on her answering machine and listens, hoping that Red finds whatever it is he might be looking for.

\--

Janine and Crobat land into the tree’s canopy, double-checking to make sure the dinner she’s brought her father is still secure. Ahead of her is the Indigo Plateau, but she looks to the west - it’s blocked out by the immediate landscape, but she can see a little bit of Mount Silver peeking out from behind a craggy cliff.

She smiles to herself. One of these days, she’ll have to go back and thank Red in person.


End file.
